Travel Anxiety & the High-Achieving HSP: What Happens When Things Don’t Go According to Plan? (Part One)
Me (on the right) and my mom on our 2025 European cruise
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always been enamored with Europe. The food. The history (especially the castles!). The cultures and sights. But every time I would start to look up flights or think about my ideal itinerary, I would stop myself. I’ll do it next year, I’d think, when I have more money saved up and the time in my schedule to take a trip. But the years kept passing, COVID shut everything down, and I had still never gone. So, last year, I decided I’d delayed my travel dreams long enough and went on a European cruise with my mom.
It was AMAZING. We left from Germany and traveled along the North Sea, visiting the Netherlands, Belgium, and France. I took a million photos, tried real Belgian chocolate, and ordered a crepe in French (finally putting all those years of school to use!). But the trip almost didn’t happen…
The Moment the Plan Imploded
On our second day in Europe, jet-lagged and dragging our suitcases around with us, we had trouble navigating the public transportation in Germany to get to the cruise terminal. We had to wait over an hour in drizzling rain for the bus to come, then got packed into it like sardines.
When we finally made it to check-in and presented our documentation, there was a hiccup we hadn’t expected: the cruise line needed to see the email confirmations we received when we got our UK Electronic Transfer Authorizations (ETAs). I found mine in my inbox, but my mom realized, much to my horror, that she had deleted a bunch of emails two weeks prior—likely including her ETA.
The cruise line wouldn’t let us finish checking in without that email, even though the official UK instructions said it was tied to our passports and the email wasn't necessary. (Make it make sense!) Thankfully, we didn't have to go back to the line, so we went to a nearby sitting area to try and purchase the ETA again.
But when she went to pay, her US bank required a text verification. Our US SIM cards were buried in our luggage, which had already been delivered to our room. We were suddenly faced with a dilemma: find a way to change out a SIM card to get a text to our US number, or accept that we weren’t getting on the cruise.
The Mental Tantrum
At this point, I’m panicking and fighting back tears. We’d been in Europe a little over 24 hours and already we had run into issues. My anxious brain cycled through every worst-case scenario.
As a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), this wasn't just stress—it was a total sensory and emotional override. I was feeling overstimulated by the crowded check-in area, the lights and noise, and my mom’s growing panic. She kept apologizing, even offering to stay behind in Germany while I went on the cruise (which I promptly shut down—there was no way I was leaving my mom in a foreign country by herself).
And the whole time we’re trying to resolve this mess, I kept asking myself: Why is this happening to me?
Why, after all the years of dreaming and working up the courage to spend the money, was it all at risk of falling apart—over one little email? Why hadn’t I thought to have my mom forward me her copy? Why had she deleted her emails right before our trip? Why hadn't the cruise line explicitly told us we needed a physical proof of the email?
My high-achieving nature was in full mental tantrum mode, ready to lash out at anything and anyone—even myself—to take the edge off the helplessness suffocating me. Because if there’s one thing anxious high-achievers can’t stand, it’s feeling like we’re not in control. And this whole experience taught me that I, most certainly, was not.
The Turning Point
Thanks to a metal tack that the security team found in their drawer, we were able to change out my SIM card, complete the application again, and finally finish our check-in. When we made it into our balcony room, I collapsed onto the bed—physically exhausted, emotionally drained, and in desperate need of time to decompress before dinner.
At the time, the disastrous start of our cruise felt like a trial, pushing me well past my comfort zone. But, upon reflection, it was a gift in many ways. By having my plans go awry at the very beginning, I was able to approach the rest of our cruise with an “it can’t be as bad as what happened at check-in” attitude.
I was more grateful for the experience with my mom I had nearly lost, more flexible when things didn't go perfectly, and more settled in my own skin. It was like my sensitive nervous system finally sighed in relief, able to take in the beauty around me without scanning for what could go wrong.
Resilience is a Skill
Anxiety thrives in the what-ifs. High-achieving stress thrives in the illusion of control. I was forced to face them both and learn that I was more resilient than I had believed—that I could handle the hiccups, road blocks, and unplanned detours and bounce back from them.
Because I did bounce back.
I had a lovely dinner with my mom that first night and we continued to have a great time together. The initial challenges could have completely ruined the trip for us both, but they didn’t.
I won’t pretend that I’m a bomb-proof international traveler now. I still have moments that test my patience and my capacity to cope with stress, like when I got my arm stuck in the Paris metro doors (which I’ll share next week, so stay tuned!).
But, just as with any skill, the more that we encounter challenges that we have to overcome, the better we get at facing them.
Enjoyed this story?
Check back next week for Part Two of my travel series (trust me, if you liked this blog post, you won’t want to miss it!).
In the meantime, you can head over to my About Page to learn more about my approach to helping high-achievers and highly sensitive souls navigate anxiety.